


Wilderness: Five Times Raj and Grace Didn't Kiss, and One Time They Did

by whiskeyneat



Category: Choices: the stories you play, Endless Summer (Visual Novel), Pixelberry, PlayChoices
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Five Times, Kissing, Non-Canon Relationship, Smut, Song Lyrics, choicescreates, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 09:07:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13384617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskeyneat/pseuds/whiskeyneat
Summary: Time is a loop. You didn't save Raj and Grace. They saved each other.Written for "Choices Creates #44" on Tumblr. Non-canon pairing.





	1. Welcome to La Huerta

_Not a soul on the road, not a star in the sky_

_It's a desert in my heart, and I know where to hide_

_I'm your king of nothing at all_

_And you're my queen of nothing at all_

_Well, out here in the dust if you don't have trust_

_Ain't nothing left of us, this is the exodus_ \-- One Foot, Walk the Moon.

 

 

-i. **Welcome to La Huerta**

 

He first recognizes her when they're boarding the plane. Slip of a thing. Curly hair, dark eyes a man could happily drown in. He'd crush her if he so much as looked at her sideways. She's in his PhD-level Advanced Physics class, and she's brilliant. She intimidates him, really. Not just because she's so driven, but because she's so sweet and innocent. Too sweet to notice someone big and loud like him. 

 

"Hey, Grace Hall," he says, and she looks up. She's got the shyest smile, and when she blushes and looks up at him from under her lashes Raj feels like he's had the wind knocked out of him. "Advanced Phys, remember me? Raj --"

 

"You're the one who snores in class!" Grace says with a frown, and Raj holds his hands up, grinning.

 

"Guilty as charged," he drawls. Just as she opens her mouth to retort, a big football player comes barreling down the aisle, nearly knocking Grace over. Raj's arm snaps out and he grabs Grace by the wrist, pulling her to his chest as the next few students squeeze down the narrow aisle of the plane. 

 

His Nana would kill him if he didn't step up and protect this sweet thing. And to be honest, he'd never forgive himself if something bad happened to her on his watch, because she smells like cardamom and coconut, just like his favorite chai. She backs away from him, blushing again, looking around for a seat. 

 

"Grace," Raj starts to ask if she wants to sit next to him, but he's interrupted by some skinny white boy in a purple tie and a sweater vest. 

 

"Hall, what are _you_ doing here?" Purple Tie would clutch some pearls if he rolled that way. He elbows Raj with a sneer. "Move it, Frat Boy!" 

 

Raj barely swallows a growl, and throws his bag in the next row. He leaves a spot by the window, in case Grace wants to see the island as they land. "Yo, Grace," Raj says with his most charming grin, "I got you a window seat." 

 

Grace smiles from under her lashes at him, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. She sneaks a look at Purple Tie, who is glaring at Raj. "H...Hi." Grace stammers. She bites her lower lip, and Raj thinks he's never seen a more tantalizing sight. He wonders if Grace is the kind of girl who'd be interested in making out on a plane. 

 

But he never gets the chance to find out, because she sits down next to Purple Tie, who doesn't even offer her the window seat. Purple Tie shoots Raj a triumphant look, and Grace smiles back at him vaguely, like she's already forgotten his name. 

 

 

 


	2. Blame It On The Night

"How did you like your drink?" Raj Bhandarkar is smiling down at Grace, like he's really invested in the answer. Maybe it's the night, or maybe it's the alcohol, but Grace shrugs out of her sweater and flashes him a smile. She doesn't miss the way his eyes widen at the sight of her breasts in her bikini top, and that warms her right down to her toes. For a second, she wishes she was as daring as Taylor, who is splashing in the pool with a very drunk Jake MacKenzie and Sean Gayle, or as beautiful as Michelle Nguyen, who is laid out on a beach chair basking in the male gazes that slide her way. Would Aleister look at her the way Raj is looking at her then - full of a deep appreciation for her female form?

But she is just ordinary Grace Hall, no one special - not the smartest person on this trip, not the most beautiful, nor the kindest, or the most daring. "I liked it," she says.

Raj eyes her in the hammock, but doesn't sit. His smile makes her feel like she's the only girl in the world, the only one worth talking to. "What part did you like?"

Grace can't help it, she sneaks a glance towards Aleister. He's glaring at Raj from the other side of the pool, and she feels a sudden burst of vindication. Is he jealous? Does this mean he _likes_ her? Her heart flutters in her chest, and she turns back to Raj, making sure Aleister sees her smile up at him. "It tasted like..." she can't believe she's going to say this, but she doesn't drink much, so she can blame it on that, or on the night. "Like an orgasm."

"That good, huh?" Raj rubs the back of his neck. He's actually _blushing_. "Wow. I'm really flattered. That's legit the best... Wow."

Grace stands up and the hammock sways, bumping her in the back of the legs, pushing her forward. She stumbles a little on unsteady liquor legs and Raj reaches out, catching her by the waist. "I'd really like another one," she whispers boldly. He pulls her closer, so close she can feel every inch of him against her. _God_ , she _wants_ -

"Another drink?" Raj teases. "Because I think I can help you out either way." He smells of coconut rum and something else, a scent that teases her nostrils. Her heart is racing. She wants to bury her nose against his neck, she wants to kiss him and taste test until she finds out if he's exactly right.

 _Kiss him_ , she thinks. _Kiss Raj before you chicken out, Grace Tamara Hall._

"Hey, guys." Aleister appears beside them as if she's summoned him with a spell. His arms are crossed in front of him, and he's put his wool vest on again, despite the humidity. His eyes flick between Grace and Raj, and Raj's hand on her waist. "I think there's something wrong with my drink."

"Let me see." Raj grabs the drink from Aleister and takes a sip. "Nope, exactly right. I made each drink exactly tuned to each of us, remember?"

"Well, you fucked mine up." Aleister pours his on the ground. "Maybe all those drugs have rotted your taste buds away, Frat Boy. I _said_ it tastes like cat piss and battery acid."

"Aleister!" Grace is shocked.

"I don't know why you'd want to keep company with this thug, Grace. It's pretty obvious to me that this frat boy put _something_ in our drinks."

"My mother will flip if I get in trouble for doing drugs!" Grace twists a lock of her hair in anxiety. She extracts herself from Raj's grasp. To her fleeting sense of comfort, he looks horrified by Aleister's insinuations.

"I didn't - you have to believe me, Grace." Raj reaches a hand out and she bats it away. She completely misses Aleister's victorious sneer. Raj's face falls.

"I found a chess set in the Celestial lounge, dating all the way back to the sixth century. Care for a match? It'll shake off the ill effects of the swill." Aleister offers Grace his arm, and she takes it.

When she looks back, Raj has already crossed the pool area to talk to Craig and Zahra. Grace feels a funny twist in her stomach, but she ignores it. "Gladly," she says to Aleister, who smiles gently, so gently she's sure she's imagined his ungentlemanly behavior.


	3. The Last Night

 

_Last night. Tell them how you really feel. Someone special._

 

Raj smiles to himself. Everyone is pairing up, some subtly -- like Craig and Zahra, so obvious to anyone with eyes except themselves -- and Taylor and his two -- or was it four? -- love interests. He's going to spend the night with his own love interest -- a bag of the finest, stickiest bud known to man. 

 

And maybe it's the sensation of the eyes in the darkness -- or maybe it's the creeping loneliness -- or maybe it's because he likes torturing himself -- but Raj decides to say good night and good luck to Grace. 

 

•••

 

Easier said than done -- the Celestial is a maze of hallways. Which side was she on? He can't remember. He hears voices, and he follows them, to find Quinn and Jake playing pool together. An odd pair, he thinks, but he'll take it. 

 

"Hey guys," Raj sings out, and Jake scratches. 

 

He straightens up and laughs, slightly embarrassed. "Not my finest moment. How's life treatin' ya, Half Baked?" 

 

They both lean over to watch Quinn line up her shot. If Raj wasn't so intent on finding Grace tonight (it's like an itch he can't scratch), he'd happily spend his last few hours showing Quinn how to aim a pool stick. She's got legs that go on forever, and the rest of her ain't half bad either. 

 

"Real good, Jake my man. Smooth," Raj whistles as Quinn takes her shot, wriggling her bottom. She winks at him, clearly basking in his appreciation. "Need some pointers, Kelly?" 

 

Quinn fans herself, unbuttoning her shirt halfway down her cleavage. "I think I'm winning," she says with a wink. 

 

"You are," both men chorus, then grin at each other. Jake slaps Raj on the back. 

 

"What's up? You didn't come up here to watch Quinn beat my sorry ass at pool." Jake raises a brow. 

 

"Girl's got hustle," Raj acknowledges. He doesn't ask what the prize for winning is -- he's pretty sure he already knows. Jake and Quinn don't seem too sad that Taylor's off with someone else (his money is on Sean and Estela at once). Raj is glad he came when he did, any later and he'd be walking in on them atop the pool table, if their general state of disrobe is any indication. "Have you seen Grace? I mean, do you know where her room is?"

 

"Aw, shit. Half Baked, do you have a thing for Brain Trust?" Jake pokes Raj in the chest with his pool cue. "Be honest, bro." 

 

"A -- _thing_?" Raj is sure that the gods are laughing at him. "Uh, no, I just wanted to ask her, uh, I mean --"

 

"Oh yeah. You got it bad, dude." Jake chuckles. "I don't know where Brain Trust lays her pretty head, but if I were you I'd check Malfoy's vicinity." He nods to Quinn. "You know anything, Ariel?" 

 

Quinn is sitting on the edge of the pool table, swinging her legs. She bats her big blue eyes. "Golly!" When she laughs, it's like a silvery tinkling of wind chimes. "How _romantic_ , Raj." She jumps off the table and walks up to him, her braid swinging back and forth to the rhythm of her hips. "Follow me."

 

"If you fuck this up for me, Half Baked, I will kill you," Jake hisses. 

 

•••

 

Quinn leads him through the hallways until they come to a non-descript door. "Here you are. Now if you don't mind, I have a pool game to get back to. I _think_ I was winning. Jake?" 

 

"That's right, Pippi Longstocking. Let's make tracks. Good night, Half Baked, and good luck." Jake salutes Raj, then chases a giggling Quinn down the hall. 

 

Raj raises his fist to knock, listens -- is that crying he hears? Maybe she doesn't want to be disturbed, maybe... 

 

"Hello? Oh, I thought you were..." Grace opens the door. He was right. She _has_ been crying. "Hi, Raj." 

 

"Hey, Grace. You look like you need a hug." Why did he say that? Shit, he's acting lame tonight. 

 

"I look like a mess, you mean." Grace sniffles, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. She's not wearing her glasses, and her eyes are puffy and red. "Did Aleister send you?" The hope in her face is almost pitiful. To Raj, it's like a sucker punch to the gut. 

 

"Nah." He leans casually on the doorframe. "Just seeing how you're holding up tonight. Want to take a walk? I have these shoulders --" (Shit, he's more stoned than he thought) "-- They're real good to cry on." 

 

"You're sweet." Grace's voice softens. "I'm not really feeling a walk, but I'll take the hug." 

 

All of Raj's internal turmoil melts away as Grace's arms go around his neck, her pliant curves pressed up against him. She may think he's the sweet one, but _she's_ the one who is sweet. He wants to kiss her tears away, he wants to taste her sorrow and turn it to joy. He brushes his thumb against her lips, parting them, and leans his forehead against hers. "You're a beautiful woman, Grace. If the man can't see it, he's a fool." 

 

"Thanks, Raj." Grace takes his hand, pressing it to her cheek. She smiles through her tears. "You're a good friend." 

 

 _I want to be more than your friend, Grace._ The words are on the tip of his tongue. "Grace," he starts to say, leaning in again. 

 

But Grace steps back, widening the distance between them. She laughs self-deprecatingly. "I _do_ feel better now. Thank you, Raj." 

 

After she closes the door, Raj stands there with his stomach in knots for what feels like an hour, then heads back to his own room. He's got a spliff to smoke, and he wants to drown his sorrows in a bottle of Creme de Menthe. He should have kissed her.

 


	4. Even Together There Can Be Loneliness

Grace holds onto Raj's hand so tightly she's surprised he hasn't lost feeling in it. But she can't let go. She _can't_. She's terrified of the Watchers, of their masks and their spears, of their angry gestures. The only reason they haven't tied her up, she thinks, is because they've tied Raj up. 

 

They probably think she isn't dangerous. They don't know anything about her. They don't know what she's capable of, what she's done, what she could still do. And Raj is angry too. She can feel the tension in every muscle of his body, but when he looks down at her, it's a fierce, protective look -- as though he'd kill anyone who dared touch her. 

 

And that makes her feel brave. 

 

"Diego," Grace hisses. "What are they saying?" 

 

They've been here for six weeks. It feels like a lifetime. Diego has been tutoring the prince, Varyyn, in English, and learning Vaanti, which he claims is easy. Grace doesn't find it easy. But then, she's resisted every attempt to make peace. Which is what brings them here in front of the queen and her council tonight. 

 

"You're in a lot of trouble." Diego whispers, barely moving his lips. "They want to feed you both to Cetus." 

 

Grace recoils. "No!" Immediately, several Vaanti turn to glare, shushing her. "Diego!" 

 

Instead, it's Varyyn who touches her shoulder. "The Queen wants to know if you have anything to say in your defense." 

 

"He was just protecting me," Grace says, sullen. 

 

" _You're_ the one who destroyed -- Never mind. I can spin this, Catalyst." Varyyn turns back to the council, talking at length. 

 

"Do you trust him?" Grace hisses at Diego, who is watching the prince with a shining light in his eyes. _Of_ _ **course**_ _he trusts him, stupid! He_ _ **loves**_ _him..._ Her heart pounds in her chest. She turns and buries her face in Raj's shirt, and breathes in his scent. "I won't let them take you." It's a promise she knows she can't keep, but she makes it anyway.

 

"It is done," Varyyn says, bowing to her. She doesn't get a chance to ask what he means by that, because she and Raj are pulled apart, and Grace is fighting the hands that pull a cloth over her nose and mouth, and then she is sinking into the aether, and the darkness rises up to swallow her like the belly of the beast. 

 

•••

 

When she wakes, she is lying on her back, and the stars are rocking, rocking, spinning across the night sky. She sits up and her head spins, and she has to lie back down right away. She realizes two things: one, there's a fire and what looks like fish and mango shish kebabs roasting over it, two, she's still holding Raj's hand. 

 

"You're awake." Raj touches her cheek. He smells like fire and the sea. "Welcome back." He passes her a coconut shell and she struggles to sit up. Raj deftly sets the shell down, but Grace tugs on his hand and pulls him to her. She all but collapses against his chest this time, and he adjusts himself so that she's leaning against him, one arm wrapped around her waist.

 

"I need you to let go of my hand," he says into her hair. Grace shakes her head. "Don't you want to taste this? I made it just for you." 

 

Grace reaches out for the coconut shell. "Does it have...?"

 

"You don't honestly think I drugged your drink back at the Celestial, do you?" He shakes his head. He looks sad. "Do you trust me, Grace?" 

 

Grace doesn't have to think. "Of course I do! What kind of a question is that?" She squeezes his hand, and he rubs his thumb over her knuckles. The caress sends a shiver of warmth through her body, and she takes a tentative sip from the shell. Sweetness and spice explode across her tongue, and her toes curl. "Oh my god..." Grace moans. "Fuck, Raj, that's so _good_."

 

"Mmm," he says, tightening his fingers on her waist. "I knew you'd like it." 

 

"Seriously." She rests the cup on the sand between her legs. "It's like an orgasm for my tastebuds." The way he's looking at her now has her stomach all tied up in knots. Her lips are tingling with the aftereffects of the alcohol, and she wants to -- _Kiss._ She leans in. 

 

"I told you I'd be able to help you out," he says, tucking a curl behind her ear. "Now, how are you feeling?" 

 

 _Like I want to devour you._ "I miss the others. Taylor, Quinn, Diego... Even Craig a little."

 

"Now I know you really _are_ drunk," Raj says with an easy laugh. "I miss them too." He doesn't say who he misses the most, Grace notes. "Here." He passes her a shish kebab -- or should it be a _fish_ kebab? -- and Grace takes a bite of charred mango, sweet sticky juice running down her chin. "What do you taste? And don't say 'an orgasm' again, because we both know you're just messing with me." 

 

"I'm not." She licks the juice off her fingers slowly, entirely too aware of his eyes on her. "I taste hot sweet sticky summer. I taste Kool-Aid popsicles and wriggling my toes in the surf under the boardwalk." 

 

"Anyone under there with you, keeping you company?" Raj takes her hand back in his, and Grace marvels at how they fit together just so, her small hand completely engulfed by his larger one. She wants to climb him like a tree. She must be drunker than she thought. 

 

"Just me and a book. My mother didn't let me date. My studies are the most important thing to her."

 

He squeezes her hand. "I get it. Family expectations." 

 

"Hey, Raj?" She takes another sip of the shell for liquid courage. "Remember the night the Watchers came? You came to my room. Why?" 

 

"Grace, Grace, Grace," Raj groans, pulling away from her, leaving her feeling bereft by his sudden absence. "Why does it matter? You know you cry for Aleister in your sleep, right?" 

 

Grace puts her hands on her cheeks, which are suddenly burning. "No!"

 

"Don't be embarrassed. You won't be the first person to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back." Raj shrugs, and Grace wants to kiss him right then and there but the moment is gone when he gently disentangles himself from her, moving to the other side of the fire to turn the next batch of kebabs.

 

 


	5. My Queen of Nothing At All

It's been eight weeks since the Vaanti dropped them on the island, and every morning Raj wakes in the canopy bed with Grace tucked against his side. They start in different rooms, but she always ends up beside him all the same. Raj always wakes before Grace does, and he's found himself curled around her more than once, his leg draped over her hips, her sweet bottom pressed right up against his rock-hard length. The gods _are_ laughing at Raj Bhandarkar -- he's sure of it now. 

 

"We have to stop." He surprises himself one morning. Grace rolls over, so she is facing him. Her hair still smells of coconuts, her skin still smells of cardamom. _I want to taste you._ Raj groans, taking her hand from his chest and lacing his fingers through hers. Grace's skirt is halfway up her legs, and he drinks in the sight of her, still half-drunk with sleep, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. 

 

"Stop what?" Like she doesn't know.  Maybe she doesn't. She's still so innocent, despite everything. 

 

"This." Raj leans his forehead against hers, and she snuggles her face against the side of his neck, inhaling. "Dammit, Grace. Don't _do_ that." 

 

"You smell so good, Raj. I just can't help it," Grace says, and he rolls over on his back. _Shit_. This isn't going to be easy. How can he explain that she has to stay in her own room all night, that she can't sleep next to him without him wanting _more_? 

 

"I think we'd both get a better quality of sleep if we stayed in our own beds." There. He's said it. So why does the right thing feel so bad? 

 

"I can't sleep in that thing. I toss and turn all night." She sits up, pushing her hair back with one hand. It's grown past her shoulders since their captivity, and she's taken to weaving flowers through it, the glowing petals of the isle making her hair look like a fantastical night sky.  "Plus, I can hear animals screaming in the jungle all night." 

 

"And _that_ scares you?" Raj sits up too, tucking a strand of hair behind Grace's ear. _Fuck_ , she's killing him. "You know you're a fierce person, Grace. You're impossibly brave and you're so strong." He gestures to the canopy. "And clever too -- I mean, who knew the manor had so much linen lying in trunks? But you found it all and set it up so we wouldn't get eaten alive every night." He sighs. "But that's just the thing -- you're fierce and brave. No animals or _whatever_ \-- would ever mess with you." 

 

"I thought we were friends." Grace's eyes are like lanterns. 

 

"Friends don't sleep in the same bed like..." he swallows. "Like lovers do." 

 

"But I _need_ \--" she swallows whatever she's been about to say as he gets up from the bed. He thinks he hears her say, in barely a whisper, "You. I need _you_ ," but he doesn't ask. He isn't sure his heart could take it if she said anything different.

 

•••

 

Grace has been gone all day, and night is falling. Raj paces back and forth by the fire pit, drinking fermented papaya and coconut juice, every once in awhile stirring the fish stew he's made for tonight. He's getting sick of fish, but they're easy to catch in the shallows. There are fruit kebabs for Grace. He's made her favorite -- pineapple/guava/passionfruit and a blue fruit he doesn't know the name of, but it makes her eyes roll back in ecstasy every time she eats it. 

 

Pies may make peace, but passionfruit makes peace better. 

 

Only she isn't back, and he's starting to worry. 

 

After his proclamation that morning,  Grace said she would find her own breakfast, and then disappeared. Raj spent all day twisted up with regret. He isn't used to thinking too deeply about his relationships with his friends, but there's something about Grace that makes him want to get everything exactly right. 

 

Fine. She's not coming? He'll start without her. He helps himself to a shell-ful of stew, and moves the kebabs to the edge of the fire. They're swollen with juice, the drops sizzling as they fall on the hot stones that line the fire pit. But even with a full belly, he can't relax.

 

"Dammit!" He should go after her. Hell, he should have gone after her this morning. But he wanted to give her space. 

 

"Ooh, mango kebabs! My favorite!" Grace walks up behind Raj, dropping the bundle in her arms. "Is that blue fruit? You know me too well." 

 

" _Grace_." He doesn't even stop to think, just turns around and catches her in his arms, pulling her against his chest in a tight embrace. She feels _so_ good. Why did he say he didn't want to touch her anymore? _Why?_ "Forgive this fool," he whispers. 

 

"There's nothing to forgive." Grace presses her lips to his collarbone. "We're -- we're friends, Raj. You can't get rid of me so easily. Besides, you'll never guess what this scardey-cat found!" She pulls back from him, twirling around. "A waterfall! I got to wash my hair and it feels sooo good not to have my hair full of salt! I'll show you." 

 

Grace crosses over to the fire pit and picks up a kebab, blowing on it. She grabs another one, and then takes his hand. "Come on. It's not far." 

 

Raj squeezes her hand, and lets her lead him through the whispering grass.

 

•••

 

"You soaked these in moonshine, didn't you?" Grace is laughing. She pulls a dripping pineapple chunk off the stick and presses it to his lips. "Be honest, Mr Bhandarkar." 

 

"I sure did, Miss Hall." The pineapple is caramelized, the outside edges browned to perfection. "It makes the flavors come out better." He pulls a chunk of blue fruit off the stick, popping it in his mouth. "Mmm."

 

Her eyes narrow. "Those blue ones are all mine!" 

 

Raj smirks, pulling another blue globe off the stick. "Like this?"

 

"Yes! I know you made these just for me, so stop eating them!" Grace glares at him. The setting sun makes her skin glow like polished teak. She's begun to freckle across the smooth skin of her collarbone, and Raj's eyes are drawn to her lips, glistening with guava juice. 

 

"Open up, then." He presses the fruit to her lips, and she steps closer. He can see a pulse jump in her neck, just under the skin. He wants to lick her there, he wants to taste her more than he's ever wanted anything in this endless summer. 

 

Grace opens her mouth just enough, her eyes locked on his, and she draws his finger into her mouth, sucking the last droplets of juice off his fingertips. He's drunk on juice and he's drunk on _her_. "Ohhhh," she moans. " _Raj_." 

 

"Race you to the water!" Raj doesn't wait for an answer, just pulls his shirt over his head and dives into the pool. The water is so clear that he can see the bottom, lined with glowing white sand. Grace sits on the beach and finishes her kebabs, then takes her glasses off and picks her way over the rocks to the waterfall. 

 

"Raj!" she calls. She doesn't notice him coming up behind her, and he pulls her under the wall of water, Grace pretending to struggle in his arms. "Oooh, you are _impossible_!" 

 

"You're right, this does feel good," he says with his lips close to her ear. She doesn't say anything, just presses her cheek against his chest, and leans into his embrace. "It's better when you're here with me, though." 

 

"That's how I feel too," she says. "What's happening between us, Raj? You're my friend but I -- I don't want to be apart from you. It _hurts_." She is so _kissable_ right now, but Raj doesn't want to take advantage of her. What if it's just the loneliness talking? She sighs deeply, wrapping her arms around him. "I'll sleep in my own bed. I didn't know... I just thought I _needed_... But I can be fierce and brave on my own." She pulls away, a smile on her lips. Yet her eyes are still full of a sudden sadness, one that wounds him to the quick. "Promise me we'll never stop being ... friends." 

 

 _Friends make the best lovers_. "Grace," Raj cups her cheek in his hand. "I promise." 

 

•••

 

But at night, when the moon is high in the island sky, and the birds are calling their mates from every tree, Raj hears the Grace's footsteps come down the hall, and stop outside his door. In the morning he'll reach for her, and find only a flower next to him on his pillow, and all the warmth in the place where she should be is gone from the bed. She'll be gone all day, and when she comes back, she'll sit apart from him, just a hands-breath away but never touching.

 


	6. Wilderness

Grace wakes in the deep of the night to tangled sheets and a dream of Raj's lips tracing a scorching trail down her abdomen. She hasn't slept properly since he kicked her out of his bed. She can't get his words out of her brain. 

 

_Friends don't sleep in the same bed...like lovers do._

 

Lovers? That's what she wants. But is it what _he_ wants? Grace punches her pillow, trying to find a comfortable spot on the mattress. But despite the fact that she tried to plump it with soft grasses, it still sags in the middle. She remembers when he took her in his arms on the plane, protecting her from getting bowled over by Craig. He'd smelled of pot and coffee, sweet and earthy, and ... then there was that time by the pool. He'd desired her then, she knows it. But she'd gone with Aleister, who'd been so flustered by her mere proximity that she'd easily beaten him at chess. She doesn't want to think about Aleister, not now. 

 

She sits up in the bed, listening to the cries of the jungle beyond the windows. She aches to go to Raj, to part the canopy and crawl in next to his warm body, to straddle his waist as he buries his hands in her hair, running his tongue over the seam of her lips and plundering (like a pirate) her open mouth with his tongue. 

 

She's been a fool and she knows it. 

 

"Grace Tamara Hall, you're an idiot," Grace scolds herself. "You need Raj and he needs you. So go to him." 

 

Grace rises from her bed and goes to the door. When she opens it, Raj is standing there, hands thrust in his pockets. His eyes are dark and unreadable. 

 

"Raj," she breathes. "I dreamed..."

_About you._

 

"It's this place," he says, raising his head. "Forget what I said about... Will you come back? I can't sleep in there without you." 

 

"Are you scared?" she teases him, tracing a finger lightly across his chest. 

 

"Not when I'm with you." He takes her hand in his, pressing it to his chest, and she can feel the rapid pounding of his heart. "Please, Grace."

 

"Friends don't sleep in the same bed the way that lovers do." Grace bites her lip, looking up at Raj from under her lashes. He shakes his head, a gentle smile on his face. She can't quite be sure in the faded moonlight, but she'd swear he's blushing. 

 

"I'll sleep with you in that bed however you want me to, Grace. Like friends... or lovers." Raj brushes his lips across her knuckles, and her knees go weak with the sudden rush of desire that pools in her lower belly. 

 

"Show me." She's bold and fierce now, and she steps even closer, her breasts brushing against his chest. Her nipples are hard, and she can't stop the breathy moan that escapes from her lips. "Show me how lovers kiss, Raj."

 

Raj buries a hand in her hair, leaning his forehead against hers. "Are you sure? Because there's no going back after this."

 

"Maybe I don't want to go back, Raj. It's too late. The only way... is forward." She strokes the nape of his neck, staring into his eyes. He brushes his thumb over her lips, and then his mouth is on hers. He tastes like moonshine and the island, burying both his hands in her hair, his teeth nibbling her bottom lip, sucking it. She opens her mouth and his tongue meets hers, and somehow her legs are wrapped around his waist and they're in his bed, their hands running all over each other's bodies, his tongue on her nipples, on the curve of her thigh, her hands buried in his hair as his tongue finds her clit, and then he's inside of her, moving so slowly she's sure she's going to die if she doesn't _come_ , _now, Oh God Raj!_ Her orgasm breaks over her like waves, the two of them curl up together now in tangled sheets, sated and sweaty. 

 

His hand is laced with hers. There are crushed petals all over the bed. Grace's forehead is pressed against Raj's, and his leg is draped across her hips. The sun is rising, and Raj is smiling at her. His lips brush against hers, and his hand squeezes hers. 

 

"Don't ever ask me to leave you again, you impossible, wonderful man," she says. "You belong to me  now." 

 

"Don't worry, you fierce, beautiful woman," Raj says, tucking a curl behind her ear and pressing his lips to hers. "I'm yours, and you're mine." 

 

And somewhere in the distant future, their words echo across Time. 

 

-FIN.

 

 


End file.
